For the mathematicians out there, complex variables can and do exist in real life, specifically in corporate America! I work in a world where the most complex variables are stupid people and tech support....To understand how these are variables you only need to look at how problems are created, or if problems are inherent you need to look at how the problem hit your desk. Conclusion, you solve for X or Y and you usually come up with one of two variables, Stupid People caused the problem, or Stupid People could not solve the problem, either way it is up to me to fix it!
Fortunately for the world, the emergencies that cross my desk do not come in the form of a human body and I do not work in an Emergency Room nor do I operate heavy machinery or surgical utensils! However, I do solve problems and I associate with people who are as equally talented at solving problems...Back on topic...This is a story about someone who solves problems...
It was a busy day yesterday and on top of the problems this "Problem Solver" is responsible for solving, he received a call from a Variable with a problem of their own! Apparently, a database that was designed and constructed by the Problem Solver was experiencing a problem. For this Problem Solver the wheels immediately start turning because it is an extremely busy day and last thing he needs is another Variable adding to the load. So the Problem Solver asks the Variable, "What seems to be the problem?", keep in mind the Problem Solver is a business and logic oriented person who happens to be very skilled at designing and building information systems, not a programmer. The Variable responds "I can't see the database on my screen", immediate the Problem Solver acknowledges that there is not a problem with the database but rather a problem with one of three possible things; 1)The Variable is not accessing the correct database, 2)The Variable is using an external monitor that is not turned on, or 3)The Variable is using an external monitor that is not plugged into the computer. The Problem Solver understands that the easiest solution should always be the first one to try so he asks Variable "Do you see a light on your external monitor?", Variable responds, "Yes". Problem Solver asks "What color is the light on the monitor?", Variable responds "Orange"...Problem Solver says "Plug in your monitor to the computer and you should be able to see the database"!!!!
The problem in this particular case was an interface issue of the most basic kind, the interface between the chair and the keyboard was faulty!!! If i need to explain it then you could be a Variable. The whole scenario for this Problem Solver was a complete waste of time and ultimately resulted in the Problem Solver going into a Hulking Pissed Off Rage because he had only reserved enough patience for the bullshit he was responsible for solving. Lesson to those Variables out there, Think before you Speak, Look before you Leap, and if you have a problem on a Monday Figure it out for Yourself!! Lesson to those Problem Solvers out there, We are utterly and completely outnumbered and the more patience you have with Variables is not indicative of how strong you are but rather a marker that your cup has yet to overflow. By the way, The world only changes and Variables begin to be Problem Solvers when the cup overflows!
Until next time, OUT!
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