It's a figure of expression, the "Right Foot". But because I did not start my day on the right foot, my last post was more about philosophy than about real-life. I am now a few beers in!
When people ask me what I do for a living there are many ways to answer, but most of them sound shady or weird. It is much easier to say that I am a pirate searching for treasure with the intention of sharing the plunder with my customers! Anyway, the life of a pirate is filled with adrenaline, doubt, excitement and the occasional morning where someone feels the need to jump on your case before you have had your first cup of coffee. Normally, I would just brush this off, but seeing as how sleep was not in the cards last night, I was already on a short fuse!
Here is how the day starts, Gloria says "Why did you give Ted authorization to do XYZ? I have not reviewed blah blah blah." Not feeling well myself, I simply replied curiously, "I did?". The response was excellent, "Well, I have an E-mail from Ted with a TPS report and I did not authorize it, so why did you tell him it was OK when you know I am supposed to review the TPS report?" Still in the same frame of mind I reply "Did you read the E-mail and have you verified the TPS report because i have not authorized Ted to do anything". Here is where it gets interesting...Gloria concludes the conversation by saying "You don't need to use that attitude with me" and walks away without acknowledging that she started a confrontation simply by not reading an E-mail.
Needless to say, I was a little irritated at this scenario. I'm trying to take a sip of my coffee and it is interrupted by Gloria's accusations and her little rant about attitude. I couldn't just let that go. Even a pirate that has been drinking rum all day would feel compelled to cross blades with that one. So, knowing I was holding all the cards, I walked to Gloria's desk and asked "How did we get started on the wrong foot this morning"? I work with Gloria daily so it is important i clear the air so we can work. At this point Gloria was a little disoriented, probably because she is not accustom to direct confrontation. Gloria responds "Well you were talking to me with that attitude and ...." I had to interrupt and say "Do you remember the first thing you said to me this morning"? She thought for a minute and said "No". This is where having a photographic memory comes in handy! I responded "The first thing you said to me is "Why did you...." and you put me on the defensive position because you didn't read the information in your inbox. A piece of advice, If you want people to speak to you with a non-defensive attitude, it is probably better not to kick the day off my accusing someone of doing something that hasn't actually happened". BOOOOOOM!
That cleared the air and we worked well together for the rest of the day, but let that be a lesson to those of you out there who like to stir up trouble. If you want to stir up trouble with someone, don't do it with a non-morning-person before they have had their coffee. It takes a lot of effort for us to put up with your shit so the least you could do is let us get that cup of coffee or tea in our system before you start writing checks your body can't cash!
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